Feeling a little sick

I've decided that I HATE having colds. It seems as if everything I do to get rid of them just makes them worse. UGH! I go to the new doc on the 12th of March-lets cross our fingers that she has something good to say and that she has another treatment that may actually work for me. Not a whole lot going on this week. I only work at Metro one day and then I'm off the rest of the week which on one end is great and on the other end (me needing money) isn't so great. I went and watched the Bachelor season finale with Hana and Sade on Monday-which damn did the after show through us for a loop. I am going to see the "watchmen" with Hana, Ash, Jon and Mandy on Sunday up at the Seattle Imax theatre which should be great because I've never been. I do wish that Erin could go just because I know she would enjoy it so much, but I know Sade will keep her company all day while we are gone. Not much else is new except I finally get my car back on Friday. Had to get a new transmission put in it which was expensive but oh well! I'll post more later!

Frustated

I'm sitting here trying to think of something I can tell my parents and family members in order for them to understand why I need a hysterectomy. My parents want me to get a second opinion and I completely agree with them, but what I don't agree with is not having this surgery. Around March 15 of this year, it will be 7 years since I got diagnosed. I remember when I first got diagnosed, I had NO clue what PCOS and endometreosis was and I also had no clue what I was getting into. It kinda just all hit me at once-here I was a senior in high school missing school, tennis practice and my spring break just to have some surgery that they thought would fix me. Now here I am 7 years, 4 surgeries and too many hospital visits to count later with nothing to show. I went off to college and things seemed to get worse for me. I missed almost 2 months collectively of winter quarter my sophomore year because I was in and out of the hospital. And now I am having to move back home to be close to my family because I am still in and out of the hospital. I am thankful to have had such amazing support from my family and friends. My parents have spent countless hours in hospitals during surgery and ER visits and it's probably just as stressful on them as it is on me. I know for a fact that Hana has spent probably over 100 hours total in hospital rooms even if it was 1 am, she was right there with me. And that I am truly thankful for. But there comes a point where my friends and family can't really do too much to help and I have reached that point. I get that I am young and that by having this surgery I won't be able to have kids, but to be quite honest I can't keep living like this. I just can't. I will NEVER make it through nursing school if I keep having to go into the hospital every month. I can't keep putting my life on hold for this disease, its just not fair to me. And I really hope that my family and friends can support me. I know what the doctor he told me so I guess I will have to wait and see what the doctor back in Tacoma says. But I am set on having this surgery-I don't want to be in pain anymore. I know kids are a huge deal and this will change my entire future but if I don't have this surgery I may not have a future. I guess we will see what happens come the 13th...